Don't Call Me Bitter

Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is loyalty, trust, or happiness.

But perhaps it's what it all adds up to. Not love as it is described with such shallowness in popular magazines, and or television media, but the kind of love that is fostered by lovers, parents, sons and daughters, and the dearest of friends. True love is affection, respect, support, commitment, and sacrifice. It is one of the medium where the act of giving is not forced or asked, but happens fluidly. The expression of true love requires an acute awareness of one's own strength and absolute faith in the relationship. It's very cliché to say this but it takes incalculable strength to be aware of who you truly are and to stick by it.

It is the time you've spent with your other that makes them so important to you. It is the time you have lost for your rose that makes your rose so important, as someone once said.

It is the journey that is most important, and who you travel with. It's never the destination. While it's easy forget, everything in life is always fleeting. Nothing we have or will have is worth hurting anyone for. And even though it's futile to try to hold everything together, you have to remember that they're all just people. If you truly try to love the ones most important or closest, you won't ever lose anything. We cannot help but profit from our honest sacrifices.

And although some days it may end in tears, or someone important and dear to you may walk out of your life, or when you get your heart kicked into your stomach, it was the journey that made everything worth it. Love people for who they are now.

If you try to love the ones that matter, you won't lose anything

This and that

Every generation seem to face the phase where in growth, they must search for their own personality; some get lost in the starry-eyed goals they have set for themselves. Perhaps those failed attributes spawn from the certain limitations that have been put on the dream itself. For example, how are you supposed to find out who you are when you limit your scope in one direction?

How can you be free if you set about to limit yourself?

There is no shortage to the amount of adversity that you or I will face in life. The positive side to it is that it will carve the weakness out of us, to make us survivors of the reality that we have lived through.

But surviving reality seems so unfulfilled. Everyone wants more than to exist; not to merely subsist in life but to fully enjoy it, and perhaps ultimately to find unfiltered happiness.

There will be times, and there has been times, when all you have hoped for will not be gifted or packaged in the way you had expected it to be. That's tough. That's life. There is no hope that out there, somewhere, someone will come and salvage however abhorrent state you maybe in. No one's going to come help you pick up your life. Albeit there will be times when you will receive a helping hand from a person out of their own kindness and tenderness. Think of it as an return payment for your emotional investment, even if it is detestable to look at friendship from an dispassionate point of view.

Friends might ask "What's wrong?" or "Are you okay?" but the question was only asked mainly for the reason to maintain decency. It would be fairly indecent to not ask, wouldn't it? Most of the intentions are only skin-deep. It's what society has demanded for us to do, to put on a visage, to make it seem as if asking is equitable to trying to help you with what problem you have. Some person(s) may not give you an answer you asked for, on the basis that it might "hurt your feelings." So they give you something nice, something that is packaged to look full of warmth and empathy. But that only really bastardizes the truth. There's only an empty and vague promise, something that has no absolute worth. That distortion of the truth, when you realize it for what it truly is, will assassinate your character. You thought you could handle the truth but when in reality, you would fall so easily for a lie.

Once in awhile, that will happen. Once in awhile, you'll feel so deadened from feeling crummy for days. You have to reevaluate your life and  you have to make yourself anew again if you want to live on. I know I shouldn't mope around or try to self-destruct, but the pain feels so much worse. Perhaps I will land flat on my face, which has happened plenty of times, but that's still moving forward.

Discretionary Disclaimer to Follow (Or Not)

Some people write for audience, some for a job, others for pleasure.

I write for myself and because it's therapeutic for me. I don't need necessarily need many readers or subscribers and thus I don't cater to an "audience." If what you think of my blog is disconcerting or offensive (because you may think it's about you, someone you know, what have you may) you can talk to me about it. If you think it's shitty because of it, then go do something else. If I write something that doesn't paint someone in a good light, it was done with clear intentions.

Shitty is your opinion. It isn't mine.

Do Yourself A Favor

Stop your crying this instant. No one out in the real world will be there to comfort you, and I am certainly not here to listen to your story and say: "There, there, everything will be okay." So I'll have none of that.

I don't care about your sadness because you shouldn't be sad. And I know this, I know how serious and I know how important it is. You might not know what you're going to do about it, or how you're going to cope about it, today but realize that at the end of the day, everyone is going through the same thing. All of us go through it.

For the past month, I've been down and out. So have other people. People get sad over some stupid things. Like when some broad or bloke that knows he or she loves them, but doesn't love back. She or he may think of their love only as an awkward phase that will pass, but still would like to be best friends. Some people might be failures in the eyes of their parents. Some might not even have parents.

I haven't held a dying man in my arms or anything serious like that, but the principle is all the same. People go through adversity every day of their lives, and that's what life is. So go make a toast to your life, and be thankful that you're still alive. And make a toast to those who aren't, to those who couldn't enjoy another sunrise or sunset like you can. 

You go through shit day in and day out, and you live through it. I am a survivor. You are a survivor. This world cannot beat you. This world cannot destroy you.

There is no shame in defeat as long as the spirit is not conquered. So don't give up. You are a good, decent person who is, or will, be in hard times. What you deserve is somebody. You deserve a hug, you deserve a kiss at night. You deserve a friend, and you deserve a friend that loves you just as the same way you love them back. Not one of those awkward "I still like you but not enough to make a relationship, so I'll call you up whenever the 'other' guy [or girl] doesn't call." That's bullshit. You deserve better, and you'll get better. You deserve a true, loving friend. Don't ever think differently. 

Reality

What am I doing here? So far, all I've done is sit around and live without any considerable feelings. Indifferent, in a way, to everything around me. I don't have my heart set in things I do anymore, and I don't know why. As a kid, I've always had a wonder and a fascination with everything around me, from the winds to the trees. Twelve years later, look at me now: sitting with legs crossed, my face propped up by my hand, apathetic eyes staring off into the distant past.

But what do I know? Life's just begun. The day's as light as the brightest dream, and time's is as fast as the slowest stream. Or so they say.

Surely I have people I love, and some more than others. I think it's great to have some things to hold you to the ground, to keep you on this earth, to keep you reminded of who you are. But we don't get everything we wish for, or for that matter, most things we wish for. So why is there all of this bullshit? Smokescreens to hide the real raw emotions, and for what? Because you're scared? Tell me who isn't scared, and I'll tell you that he/she is a liar. Tough luck. Everyone is scared, but it's not about how unafraid you are of the future. It's how much you're willing to tough it out.

Nobody is going to hit as hard as life; you, me, anybody. It's not about how hard we can fight back, it's about how much we can persevere. It's about how long we can stay on our feet and keep moving. And if you're scared of what will happen in the future, then why are you living now?

Think about this: how can there be a thing as a "perfect couple"? Or "perfect love"? Or "true romance"? To tell you the truth, there isn't anything that is perfect. Couples go through hardship like anyone else, and the ones that stay together are the ones that don't let adversity get to them. That's what truly matters in the end: the willingness to sacrifice for the benefit of the other person, because you truly love him/her.

That's what being real is.