If life is so purposeless, do you feel that it's worth living?

Yes.

For those of us who manage somehow to cope with our own mortality, the very meaningless of life forces man to create is own meaning. Children, of course, begin life with an untarnished sense of wonder, a capacity to experience total joy at something as simple as the greenness of a leaf. But as they grow older, the awareness of death and decay begins to impinge on their consciousness and subtly erode their sense of idealism - and their assumption of immortality.

As a child matures, he sees death and pain everywhere about him, and begins to lose faith in the ultimate goodness of man. But if he's reasonably strong - and lucky - he can emerge from this twilight of the soul into a rebirth of life's élan. Both because of and in spite of his awareness of the meaninglessness of life, he can forge a fresh sense of purpose and affirmation. He may not recapture the same pure sense of wonder he was born with, but he can shape something far more enduring and sustaining.


The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent. But if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death - however mutable man be able to make them - our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.




- Stanley Kubrick : director, writer, producer, photographer

Since Feeling Is First

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death I think is no parenthesis

e.e. cummings

Don't Call Me Bitter

Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is loyalty, trust, or happiness.

But perhaps it's what it all adds up to. Not love as it is described with such shallowness in popular magazines, and or television media, but the kind of love that is fostered by lovers, parents, sons and daughters, and the dearest of friends. True love is affection, respect, support, commitment, and sacrifice. It is one of the medium where the act of giving is not forced or asked, but happens fluidly. The expression of true love requires an acute awareness of one's own strength and absolute faith in the relationship. It's very cliché to say this but it takes incalculable strength to be aware of who you truly are and to stick by it.

It is the time you've spent with your other that makes them so important to you. It is the time you have lost for your rose that makes your rose so important, as someone once said.

It is the journey that is most important, and who you travel with. It's never the destination. While it's easy forget, everything in life is always fleeting. Nothing we have or will have is worth hurting anyone for. And even though it's futile to try to hold everything together, you have to remember that they're all just people. If you truly try to love the ones most important or closest, you won't ever lose anything. We cannot help but profit from our honest sacrifices.

And although some days it may end in tears, or someone important and dear to you may walk out of your life, or when you get your heart kicked into your stomach, it was the journey that made everything worth it. Love people for who they are now.

If you try to love the ones that matter, you won't lose anything

This and that

Every generation seem to face the phase where in growth, they must search for their own personality; some get lost in the starry-eyed goals they have set for themselves. Perhaps those failed attributes spawn from the certain limitations that have been put on the dream itself. For example, how are you supposed to find out who you are when you limit your scope in one direction?

How can you be free if you set about to limit yourself?

There is no shortage to the amount of adversity that you or I will face in life. The positive side to it is that it will carve the weakness out of us, to make us survivors of the reality that we have lived through.

But surviving reality seems so unfulfilled. Everyone wants more than to exist; not to merely subsist in life but to fully enjoy it, and perhaps ultimately to find unfiltered happiness.

There will be times, and there has been times, when all you have hoped for will not be gifted or packaged in the way you had expected it to be. That's tough. That's life. There is no hope that out there, somewhere, someone will come and salvage however abhorrent state you maybe in. No one's going to come help you pick up your life. Albeit there will be times when you will receive a helping hand from a person out of their own kindness and tenderness. Think of it as an return payment for your emotional investment, even if it is detestable to look at friendship from an dispassionate point of view.

Friends might ask "What's wrong?" or "Are you okay?" but the question was only asked mainly for the reason to maintain decency. It would be fairly indecent to not ask, wouldn't it? Most of the intentions are only skin-deep. It's what society has demanded for us to do, to put on a visage, to make it seem as if asking is equitable to trying to help you with what problem you have. Some person(s) may not give you an answer you asked for, on the basis that it might "hurt your feelings." So they give you something nice, something that is packaged to look full of warmth and empathy. But that only really bastardizes the truth. There's only an empty and vague promise, something that has no absolute worth. That distortion of the truth, when you realize it for what it truly is, will assassinate your character. You thought you could handle the truth but when in reality, you would fall so easily for a lie.

Once in awhile, that will happen. Once in awhile, you'll feel so deadened from feeling crummy for days. You have to reevaluate your life and  you have to make yourself anew again if you want to live on. I know I shouldn't mope around or try to self-destruct, but the pain feels so much worse. Perhaps I will land flat on my face, which has happened plenty of times, but that's still moving forward.